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KNOW YOUR VALUE: Dealing With Insecurities in a Relationship

Updated: May 13, 2019



Whether you're Duchess Meghan Markle, married to a prince; Oprah Winfrey, billionaire media mogul or former First Lady Michelle Obama, we've all had to deal with insecurities in one form or another in our lives. In a society that places such enormous emphasis on beauty, women often find ourselves feeling that somehow we don't measure up.


Last week the social media was all abuzz after Ayesha Curry, wife of basketball superstar, Steph Curry, appeared on Jada Pinkett's Red Table Talk and commented that women unashamedly flaunt themselves at her husband yet she never gets any male attention, which has caused her to question her attractiveness. As you might guess, there were a lot of mean spirited comments, many suggesting that she wasn't satisfied with her husband. I would rule out that argument because no rational-minded woman would go before the world and imply that she's open to having an affair. No, Ayesha, like so many woman, has been seeking validation from external means rather than from within. No doubt many women found her admission relatable.


There could be a number of challenges driving Ayesha's insecurities. Let me suggest a few. First, add to the equation the fact that she is not your average 30 year old woman. She's married to a two-time NBA league MVP, one of the top 3 players in the league. Although successful in her own right, might living in Steph's shadow create a little jealousy? Secondly, she and her husband have known each other since they were 14 and 15. They began dating in college before getting married. Might her lack of experience dating other young men cause her to question her attractiveness? Thirdly, imagine attending the NBA All-star game festivities and mingling with a host of basketball superstars escorting the most beautiful, shapely women their money can buy (in their eyes, anyway). She's probably not her ideal weight; after all she just delivered a newborn baby less than a year ago. Is it possible that her insecurities stem from having to navigate certain environments? Fourthly, there could be unresolved childhood issues she needs to confront.


Whether she's aware of it or not, Ayesha is a beautiful young woman, who I'm sure gets noticed by other men more than she realizes. However, she is a married woman, and to a Steph Curry, no less. That alone could dissuade any man from approaching her, or crossing the line. I'm glad she admitted her insecurities, though. It's the beginning of overcoming the need to validation. My advice to her, and anyone else struggling with insecurities in a relationship is to practice valuing yourself.


1. You should never compare yourself to another person; it can create friction in the relationship.

2. Embrace your uniqueness and use your God-given gifts and talents for the better good.

3. Build your confidence by loving yourself just the way God created you; warts and all.

4. Accept the fact that there are things in life you can't change, so don't even let them bother you.

5. The grass is not always greener on the other side. You might get what you wish for but live to regret it.

6. Don't be afraid to get counseling to help get to the root of your insecurities.


As women, let's not judge each other but support, empower and uplift. We can all learn and grow from one another.



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******* As an entrepreneur, author, speaker and coach, my mission is to provide expert solutions to people all across the nation and internationally. I collaborate with individuals and entrepreneurs to confront their challenges and achieve transformative results. To receive a complimentary download of, "10 Inner Beliefs That Will Turn Your Dream Into Reality" visit http://www.rebecca-mcclain.com


#knowyourvalue #dealingwithinsecurities #relationships

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